Goat General starts his Campaign

Psst.  Pssssst.  Yes, you.  No, shh.  No noise.  Be very quiet and move very quiet.  This is Crispus, General Crispus of the Underground Goat Brigade.  I come to on the eve of a very important mission.  This is a grave undertaking and I fully and whole heartedly appreciate your full and undivided cooperation and attention.  I bow to your fighting spirit.  Your brave heart!  A heart that doesn’t falter in the face of adversity!  For it is a weighty task that I bring before you.  We shall have to dig in with all four hooves!  Push with all both horns!  We—

Blackberry:  I don’t have horns.

Crispus:  Don’t interrupt your superior private.  The details are irrelevant!  This mission calls for us –

Whitey:  What is private around here?  Everyone is always stealing my hay.  I would like my own room too and –

Crispus:  I said no interruptions.  I have every faith in your ability to fully understand my important speech on the eve of this important undertaking.  You can complete this mission!

Strawbaby:  We haven’t even decided on the mission.

Blackberry:  It must be one I can complete without horns.

Whitey:  Foooooood!

Strawbaby:  I like food.

Blackberry:  Me too!  Let’s eat –

Crispus:  Disorder in the ranks!  Disorder in the ranks! Silence you peasants!   

Whitey:  Pigeons.

Blackberry:  He is right.

Strawbaby:  Yep, no peasants.  Only pigeons around here.

Whitey:  Pigeons.

Blackberry:  Pigeons.

Crispus:  Fine my Pigeons.  Now listen carefully.  We have …. Private and soldier why are you whispering?   

Blackberry:  Just saying I wasn’t a pigeon.

Whitey:  I said maybe you needed food.

Crispus:  Thank you for your concern but you both are not pigeons.  You Blackberry are a private and Whitey you are a soldier. 

Strawbaby:  And me?

Crispus:  You can be a Major.

Strawbaby:  Major what?

Crispus:  It is just Major.  You are the Major.

Blackberry:  What is a private?

Whitey:  Nothing around here.

Crispus:  Same thing.  A soldier is the same thing too. 

Whitey:  I already have a shoulder.  Can’t I be something else?   

Crispus:  Because you have it then you can be it.

Strawbaby:  He should be a shoulders.  Not shoulder.

Blackberry:  That makes sense.

Crispus:  It is singular.

Whitey:  Fooooood!

Crispus:  Now on to the mission.  It will be big and dramatic!  Spectacular and heroic! 

Blackberry:  I don’t think there are enough of us.

Strawbaby:  We can figure that out after we figure out our mission.

Whitey:  Yum, yum.  That cud was good.

Crispus:  Help might be good.  I will have to consult …….. hum …….. oh …….. um ……. Ok, yes.  More goats would be better.

Whitey:  Who do we ask?

Crispus:  I will lay down our recruitment campaign.  Now—

Blackberry:  Daisy do you want to play?

Crispus:  NO!

Whitey:  NO!

Strawbaby:  NO!

Crispus:  She would never do as a pilot.

Blackberry:  You can be the pilot Daisy.

Daisy:  There shall be no plotting –

Crispus:  Ow!

Whitey:  What?

Strawbaby:  RUN!

Blackberry:  Play!

Daisy: -or recruitment of unwilling goats.

Whitey:  Ouch!  Foooood!  Help!

Strawbaby:  RUN!

Crispus:  Scatter my brave seal team!  We will continue negotiations at a safer date!  Farewell!